A bit of a detour....

We will leave for Africa exactly 3 weeks from tomorrow.  We met for our final planning meeting last Sunday.   I planned to write about it, but didn't sit down right away to get my overwhelming feelings on "paper."  I lost my muse and that post never happened.  I promise to write tomorrow about the many emotions I am experiencing as July 22nd approaches. 

Today's post is a bit of a detour, not a detour from Obedience, a detour from the usual content.  Today is the birthday of a friend and colleague.  "R" is doing very important work, at the state level, to ensure Kentucky's children are receiving the education they deserve.  She is brilliant, kind, dedicated, and is one of the hardest working people I know.  She's perfect for her job.  There's only one problem.  "R" misses the classroom.  She misses her students.  Here's what I told her this morning, "We absolutely need the best teachers to remain in classrooms teaching our precious children. But, don't we also want the best teachers helping negotiate and mediate all of the mandates and dictates that are being imposed on districts/schools/classrooms/teachers/students?"  I fully expect that "R" will return to the classroom and her future students will be so very lucky.


My transition out of the classroom happened so quickly that I had little time to ponder the change in my role.  I started last school year in early August with some of the sweetest students I have ever had, on my caseload.  It was going to be a great school year!  In early September, I told them goodbye and turned them over to a young, energetic, new teacher.  Kids are resilient.  They had a great year and I have no regrets concerning that bunch of kiddos. 


In the last 5ish years in my classroom, I did the best teaching of my life.  I learned so many ways to improve my practice, I committed to making life (not just reading) better for my students, I began branching out into curriculum, supervision, and leadership. I was in my grove! So, Why did I leave?
First and foremost, I desired to be obedient to the direction I felt God leading me.  Secondly, I couldn't continue to walk the tight rope between teaching and leading teachers.  When I observed instruction that was not up to par, I could gently and politely offer some suggestions and help, but I could not insist that those suggestions be implemented.  The time I spent preparing materials, studying curriculum, and helping other teachers left me less time to prepare quality lessons for my own students and zapped my energy to be fully present, engaged, and energetic for my students.  For years I have seen teachers who remained in the classroom past their expiration date, past their effectiveness.  I did not want that to be me!  I feel very fortunate that I had the opportunity to leave while I still loved what I did every single day.  No regrets about moving fully into a position of leading and teaching teachers.


I do have one regret.  I spent one period each day collaborating with a fun Language Arts Teacher while she had a group of students we secretly referred to as her APP class.  For those who don't know what those letters stand for, they usually mean Advanced Placement Preparation.  We used to call them Honors Classes.  With this class, those initials stood for Advanced Pre Prison.  Please understand that this was a secret joke between the two of us.  There were only 15 students in that group and it took both of us, on our "A game" every minute of every day to insure learning was occurring and fighting was not occurring.  We had turned a corner, and this group was "on our side" about the time I left.  This is the group I hated to leave.  These are the kind of kids who have always been "my kids".  These are the kids I most love to teach.  Their teacher reported to me that they spent  the rest of the year angry and resistant.  She said, "There's nothing I can do because I can't bring you back."  I am not vain enough to believe no one else could make a difference with those students  But I do know that it is difficult for those students to trust, and I broke that trust.  I abandoned them and all of my good reasons are for naught, as far as they're concerned. That's a regret I will always carry.


The position I've held this past year is a 3 year position, during which I'm "on loan" from my school district, to the state department of education.  At the end of the 3 years, my district would have a classroom waiting for me--no guarantees which school or grade, but a classroom full of children.  My resignation from the "on loan" position AND from my district (my employer for the last 17 years) is effective today.  Yes, I've got a new job.  Yes, I have traveled the road of Obedience to this position.  I have prayed, waited patiently, listened, heard "Yes" to some things, and heard "No" to some other things.  As of July 1, I will be a Special Ed Literacy Consultant for the Special Ed Division of our local education cooperative.  I will remain in the same building, actually in the same cubicle.  Some of my work will look very much like the work I've done this year.  With this change, I've pretty much closed the door on my classroom teaching career.  I was in the classroom 26 years.  I loved it; I loved my students; I loved my co-workers.  I believe I left at the right time.