Warning...This one is raw.

Today was back to work day.  It was so good to see my co-workers.  They kindly welcomed me back and were happy to hear about our work in Niger. 

I sat in my cubicle drinking my diet coke (Oh, have I missed you dear diet coke!), pulled up my email (only about 100 needing immediate attention) and felt.....paralyzed.  My emotional and physical exhaustion was palpable.  I could feel the weight on my shoulders, my head, my heart....  I powered on through, but have been fighting the urge to cry, all day.

The feeling only got worse when I pulled up Facebook during my lunch break and read such un-Christian rhetoric written by Christians.  I'm not getting into the whole Chick Fil A thing. My beliefs are between me and God.  We've talked about it a lot.  We've talked about a lot of things that I don't understand this past week.  I'm still listening and trusting.  HE has been faithful to tell me what is required of me and what I must do to stay on the path of Obedience.  Remember Micah 6:8?  He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?  Most of what I'm reading is neither kind nor humble.

The practical side of me knows that I'm experiencing jet lag and possibly some of the side effects of my anti-malarial meds.  My heart knows that I very specifically asked God to break my heart for others, to give me a heart of compassion, like Nehemiah had.  There's no telling where this is going to go.  We're still talking.  I'm still listening and trusting.